Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Evil that Lies within....

Lately life has just taken on lots of turmoil and frustrations. Nothing seems to be the way it should. My life was just turned upside down last week and things were not looking pretty. Satan was having a party on my expense and I paid the price for it. He had entered my life and made a mess of it. He snuck in when I was least expecting it.

I wonder why life has to be the way it has to be sometimes? I can sit back and just try and find all the pity and wooo is me sides to everything. They always seem to just jump and show their ugly faces all the time. In comes the low self esteem and the unworthiness that I think I so righteously deserve. I mean come on, when you have lived with lots of hurt from your past you start wondering...dang...what more lessons do I have to learn. I thought I was leaning on God all along and he was guiding and directing me. I thought I was doing everything right. Then boom....Satan finally shows his face...plain as day. At an age that I can fully see and comprehend him. I can sit and ask him...why me? why you choosing me? Whats so dang special about me that you want to continue messing up my life? Oh and I'm sure he would go on and on and say all the things I need to hear that really make me feel worse than I already feel. Cuz that's how he works right?

Well no more. Yesterday it was a battle between us. It was the WWIII showdown. I screamed and hollered at him. I rebuked him and not asked him to leave but told him to leave and shoved his evil butt right out the door. Oh I'm sure our little fight is not over....its gonna take sometime for him to actually get the picture and leave me, my husband, and my family alone for good. But I know that by holding on to the shield of God that I will be just fine. All safe, protected and secure.

I don't know why its taken me so long to get to this point...and right now I don't care...because I am here. Ready to take the hand of my Heavenly father and know deep down that I am is beloved, caring, beautiful, amazing daughter. I know He wouldn't want me to continue to live the pain and suffering like I have been. I'm sure hes been trying to tell me that for years....yet that evil bug just dug himself deep within and always changed the words I was hearing.

Everyday is leading us one step closer to His Kingdom of Greatness. Everyday is always going to have it challenges and trials....but Everyday starts new and full of beauty and Grace. Because He gave that to us. Unconditionally....whole heartily....all lovingly.

Peace and loves to ya

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

How Can Anyone Truely Love You If You Dont Love Yourself?

Ahhh the question of my day.....these little words just so happened to pop into my head today out of the blue. Seems like lately that I have been having a battle with some unkind thoughts in my head. Lots of black fish swimming around in the sea of my brain. Guess the good Lord is trying to give me a little push towards the answers I need to hear.

When little dark thoughts enter our minds it is sometimes hard to just shove them off to the side and dismiss them. They often have a tendency to sit there an poke you and poke you and poke you until you start wondering and thinking. Then eventually those thoughts are what is actually happening. Ahhhh...the madness of it all. Why do we sit there and let it happen. Is it because we are just weak, is it because deep down we are crazy, or is it because we feel that there is some truth to the matter...why else would they enter our heads? When in actuality its definitely not what God wants us to think and believe. Its the evilness of the devil just coming in and trying to attack us when we have a door cracked, our armour down, and our back turned for a brief moment. Its at those times he feels like he can take over and run our life.

With the way the world is evolving, it is almost soo easy for him to take over. But never for once would God want us to even believe, trust or seek those nasty, hurtful or even plain crazy thoughts. We were made in his likeness....made to be awesome, beautiful, intelligent, kind, thoughtful, forgiving, likable, trustworthy, very much worth something...anything...everything. So why on earth would be want to take the enemy's side?

So now I need to raise my armor a little higher, make sure that my door is securely closed, KNOW God has my back and start believing those kind, warm, generous, loving thoughts and ways that He wants me to have. I need to let go of the negativity.....know that I am worth something. I need to learn to love myself truly and wholly and when I do will all fit into place and I know that I will be loved....unconditionally.

Remember that God created us in his own image....not in the image of the enemy. So love ourselves a little bit more each and every day. Know deep down that we are beautiful, lovable, and worthy of everything.

Peace loves to ya......