Thursday, January 27, 2011

Day 19-23

Eeek I let time get away and didn't get around to blogging about all these days. Oh does go on. So the short cliff notes on what these days are about.....

19~ Love is Impossible.....I was suppose to look back over the previous dares and see if any were very hard to do and reflect on why. If so ask God for his strength and grace and where I stand with him.

20~ Love is Jesus Christ.....Dare to take God at His word. Dare to trust Jesus Christ for his salvation. Really let Him into my life and hand everything over to him. Know that all things are possible if I truly believe in Him.

21~ Love is Satisfied in God....Be intentional about making time to pray. Really start a habit of picking up that Bible and leaning into His words. He does show his love and promises for us through His writing. By doing this will only make my walk Grow with Him.

22~ Love is Faithful....Learning Love is a choice not a feeling. I was dared to choose today to be committed to love even if my husband has lost most of his interest in receiving it. I let him know how much he means to me and how unconditional it strings attached and no expectations. I let him know that even if he doesn't chose to love me in return...that my love for him will always be.

23~ Love always Protects.....So that leads up to today's lesson I'm learning about. Marriage is made up of many things that include happiness, sadness, great achievements and hard failures. We have so many influences in our day to day lives that we need to protect each other and ourselves from. Like watching too much TV, or spending too much time on the computer, working long hours taking away from family time. We really need to learn how to find that balance that will only allow our relationship to grow. We also need to make sure we keep our eyes on the road so to speak....opposite sex relationships can really undermine your marriage if your not careful and be on guard at all times. Satan will get you if he can and will weasel his way in those cracks if you are not careful.
We also need to protect our spouse by making sure we don't talk bad about them in public. Their secrets are our secrets and we must do everything possible to make sure them feel secure in our relationship so they will feel the love we have for them come out to its fullest. Love hides the faults of others. It covers their shame. Then we move onto parasites, which can latch on to either one of us and suck the life out of the marriage. So this is the part about addictions....we saw it in the movie Fireproof...where he was addicted to pornography. It says in the book that if you love your spouse, you must destroy any addiction that has your heart. If you don't, it will destroy you.
Man this really hit me on something that I never thought was an addiction.....but its been stealing my heart....I tend when I get something in my mind to really really dwell and obsess about will take up my mind hours upon hours. I don't really know what you call this addiction...OCD?! But I do know that it is stealing the joy from me. I need to really pay attention to myself when these occasions arise. Learn that I need to stop and pray about it...and just hand it over to God. Then go about my business with something else. Everything will work out in Gods timing. He has a plan for everything. I just need to be strong and learn to trust. With each and everydays worth of practice it Will become easier and easier.

So this is where I'm at. Still ok. Still having faith. Still believing in the best outcome that God wants me to have. Its been kinda weird because Ive been in my own little world lately. Not really talking to many about this. Ive been really leaning into God this time. This is not anyone elses problem and I do not want to unload my crap on top of the crap that is going on in their lives. That is really not fair. Plus after the last weeks lessons....I really don't want to talk bad about my husband to anyone. He is my other half, and talking bad about him is talking bad about me. Its just not right. Yes he is not perfect...but I am not perfect either. If I truly want to learn what God is trying to teach me then I really need to listen to his lessons. I feel funny sometimes talking to myself, or listening to my voice inside my head reassuring me and cheering me on. But I know these are just conversations with God and its all good.

Well tomorrows lesson will be Love vs. Lust.....The world is passing aways, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever. -1 John 2:17

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Day 16-18

Ahhh Love intercedes.....all about how you cannot change your spouse. Darn it...and I thought it was possible....just kidding. Yes this I do know. We can not change anyone but ourselves. Hence that is why I'm truly enjoying this Love Dare session. Knowing that in the end, the only thing that will be prettier will be who I become. Knowing that I am beautiful no matter what, inside and out. I am truly having faith that God is working his hands in me. I am his clay and he is molding me. I know I cant do this without him. Life is hard. Its no walk in the park. But with patience and kindness and prayer, I know that good things will happen for me.
I know that God is not my magic genie and will grant me all the wishes that I want. But he will give me all that I need to make my life the best it can be. Day 16s dare was to begin praying for my spouse. Pray for exactly what he needs, pray for his heart, pray for his attitude...etc. I know I cant change him....but maybe God can take the wheel and mold him into what he thinks he should be.

Love promotes intimacy. We all have friends and family that we are close with....but there is that total intimate closeness that we only get from our spouse. Who knows our deep dark secrets and guards them with their own heart. Its what happens when we marry. But it can be a double edged sword sometimes. They can either love us at depths we never imagined, or they can hurt us in ways that we may never full recover from. Its our job to make sure that we cherish their secrets and feelings like we would want ours to be treated. Make them feel safe and secure. I never thought of this analogy before....when we got married we took all of our spouses baggage into our life and they did the same for us. We all come with some type of baggage. But its our job to help them feel like they matter, that their baggage is safe with us. That we wont hurt them with what we know. God knows all of our secrets, yet he doesn't hold them over our heads waiting to torment us when we least expect it. No...he gathers us up each and every day and tells us that it will be ok. That we matter. That we are forgiven. So even tho we have done things to hurt our spouses, we must learn to take the steps to move forward and show love inspite of these issues. Listen to what is being said by them and truly feel, cherish and guard their feelings. Once again, do unto others as you would want done unto yourself. I'm really learning, Life is truly not all about me.

Love seeks to I'm learning that I need to study my husband. When we have an interest or a hobby we like, we tend to follow up on it, learn about it and practice at it. We did this when we were fresh into our relationship.....but somewhere along the way it kinda fizzled. We musta figured that hey..we are married now..we must know everything about each other. Well do we really? I guess obviously not if we have hit this point in our marriage. So I need to go back to school and really start to learn more about my husband. Start digging deeper with in him to really learn and understand Him!! If I want this marriage to work out and be the best it can possibly be...then I need to do my part. I know its not all on my shoulders to make it work. But if I can be a leader, a great example to him. If he can see that I am living more peacefully and lovingly...then he might want the same to. For that I pray for!!!

So anyways...sorry that I haven't updated on a daily basis...but I was having troubles finding words to write. Gods working in me...I know that. I'm still doing ok. Day by day, cherishing each and everyday and taking nothing for granted.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Day 15 Love is Honorable

Today's Dare is learning about the word honor. To honor someone is to treat them as being special and of great worth. To be nice, understanding, and to really listen whole heartily when they speak. To be courteous and polite and respectful.

When I took my wedding vows I chose to honor my husband. I chose to treat him like he mattered and let him know that he matters. Sometimes day to day activities and situations attack us from all different angles and we tend to forget that little choice we made. We get caught up in what we are feeling and what matters to us. We become selfish. At one time when we were fresh in our was quite easy to show him how much he mattered to me. Over time, I guess I let that priority slide. He did too. We are human. We are not perfect. But I can chose to regain that feeling. I can suck up my pride and be the first to make a move. If someone don't make the first move then who will. I'm learning that I need to let go of my stubborn pride. Let my pride reflect what Gods pride is. Live my life to show Gods presence in it.

As quoted in the book...."Of all the relationships I have, I will value ours the most. Of all the things I'm willing to sacrifice, I will sacrifice the most for you. With all your failures, sins, mistakes, and faults-past and present-I still choose to love and honor you." That's how you lead your heart to truly love your mate again. And that's the beauty of honor.

I will be marinating on this lesson all day. Things that make you go hmmm??!! ;)

I hope that you are having a great day and that your life is being filled with lots of love and peace.

Day 12-14 Keep on loving

Day 12: Love lets the other win

Day 13: Love fights fair

Day 14: Love takes delight

Sunday, Monday and Tuesday has all seemed so eerily calm given the circumstances of the past few weeks. Almost a sense of peace has fallen upon our house. Its hard to explain, but I feel God is working behind the scenes right at the moment. Sometimes its good to just sit back and allow God to do the dirty work. That is what he is there for right? I truly know that I can not fix this storm, but I do know that he will not forsake me or leave me. He is my Heavenly Father and does not want to see me suffer. So with this sense of peace I'm chalking it up to him taking care of me. My mind has almost bit the dust and needs a break. I'm tired of thinking and wondering and worrying. Ive turned it over to Him to do. Seems a bit strange because I'm so used to trying my best to fix everything. I always wanted to be in control of my life. Now...I'm not, and it feels strange. Not a bad strange tho. Just different.

So for my dares these past few days Ive learnt alot about how in control I always seemed to come across. For love lets the other win.....oh boy, was that a doozy to realize. I always felt that I had to defend myself or my way was the best way and no one could try and change my mind. How selfish of me right?! I know!!! Ive realized that sometimes you just got to let the small stuff go. No two people are alike, and we must pick our battles wisely. Sometimes its best not to say anything at all. Doesn't mean the other one is right, it just means why sweat the small stuff that really isn't gonna make a difference 5 to 10 years from now. It means putting your partners feelings at the top of the list. Wouldn't I want the same respect in return. It was really learning how to fight fair. Knowing that I need to really listen before speaking. Absorb what he may be feeling. Just because he has opinions doesn't necessarily mean I have to agree...but we are each unique and different so I need to embrace that. Just as each one of my friends and family members are different and is my husband. Just because we got married doesnt mean we need to be the exactly the same. If we were what would be the use then?

Which leads to Love takes really putting my husbands thoughts and feelings into consideration...Im really learning to choose to love him rather than just feel love for him. When I make that choice Im opening my eyes wider. Not living so blinded by false ideas. Learning that true love is more powerful and rewarding when everything is laid out on the table. We are all in control of our choices and feelings. We can choose to let something bother us and eat at us, or we can choose to snip the problem right in the bud by looking at each circumstance with our eyes wide open. Its not all about me. Im learning that.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Day 11 Love Cherishes

Answering him, Jesus said "What do you want Me to do for you?" (Mark 10:51)

Today's Love Dare says... What does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or a foot massage? Is there housework you could help with? Choose a gesture that says "I Cherish You" and do it with a smile.

Learning that I need to give this marriage the time and space that it needs to grow and heal, I gave him the space he needed last night. He went off and did what he felt he needed in his life and I breathed in the sweet breath of my children. I went and had a dinner date with them and just really enjoyed their company. We later went and hung out with my sweet cousin and just enjoyed each others company.

I'm really learning that each day is a gift presented to us and I'm learning to not take things for granted. Trying to really live in each and every moment and let God work his hand in all that he needs to do.

Today's Dare I offered up a haircut for my husband. Even tho he didn't want to inconvenience me, I made him aware that I would be more than happy to do this for him. Today's been pleasant and I have been walking around with more smiles.....not because of him, but because of who I am becoming. Sometimes smiles can be someone sweet told me. That's a free gift I can give others as well.

I really don't know what else to write...but know that I am ok. This marathon of life is going slow and steady...but that's the way one succeeds in it right?!

Friday, January 14, 2011

Day 10 Love is Unconditional

So today started out having a pity party for me. I had a quick set back with the tears and the why Me's? Life just felt so overwhelming and unbearable. But after taking a couple hours to just cry it out and let it out. God picked up my hand and comforted me and talked me through it. Stupid Satan was trying his best to get his grips on me when I least expected it. If you let your guard down for just one second he can swoop in there and try and tempt you with ugly, crazy thoughts. Which I know are not true. Which I know are just lies!!!! So I picked up my big girl pants and am moving on. I will not let him get to me the rest of the day.

Today's lesson on unconditional love couldn't come at a better moment. After last nights talk...I thought for a fleeting second that there could be hope on the horizon. That maybe his walls were starting to come down. But to be woken this morning to be told that he still feels nothing and still wants it over, really hit me in the face. As I stood in the shower and tried to wash away the morning battle with Satan...God spoke to me. God told me that what my husband is going through is not about me. He has issues much deeper than whats been laid out on the surface, and I can not fix it for him. This is about him and he is and will be the only one that will be able to work thru what he needs to work thru. I need to let go and let God work with him. I can and will still be there for him when hes ready. I can continue to work on myself and my marriage thru doing these Love Dares. Because the most important thing that I am learning from all what I need to learn about me. To make me the best Me I can possibly be......and not for anyone else.

I will continue to pray for my husband. I pray that he can find that missing piece deep down within himself that he is so lost at trying to find. I pray that he will turn to God and lean on him during his time of sorrow and dispare. For I love my husband so deeply that words can not explain. I do know that loving someone so much can not fix everything. I do know that we all are not perfect....for we are merely human.

Taking this time and learning Gods unconditional love that he has for me will give me the opportunity to see his love grow inside me. For once I can truly comprehend his deep unconditional love and totally receive it, then I can in turn share it. How great would it be to have that whole feeling of being loved with no strings attached. Ive searched for it all my life, yet I seemed to by pass the one being that was always there, always willing to give it to me. I just needed to look up.

Today's Dare is to do something out of the ordinary for your spouse-something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage. Examples were wash the car, clean the kitchen, buy his favorite dessert, fold the laundry......well I do those most of the time so I went a totally different off the wall me silly, but still means I care. I went and bought the best windshield wipers the store sold. I noticed that when driving his truck that his didn't do a very good job, and don't let there be ice/snow on them...oy vey!! I know its something that he would eventually fix...maybe come spring after he got so tired of it or he just so happened to see them at the store and be reminded of them. I would of normally gone the middle of the road price range because..hey they are just wiper blades LOL. But as I was standing there, I thought how much he deserves to have the best. So I didn't think twice and I just picked up the top of the line. I went to where he parks during the day and just dropped them off in his truck.

Learning to love unconditionally seems like an easy task....but the more you think about often do we really love like that. I know it comes easily to me with my boys. Must be because I birthed them. That pain that we felt when we delivered them and just how quickly it fades away. That's the same for when they do something wrong...our quick get over it and carry on is just the same. But why is it totally different to react and try and get over what others do. God has no problem doing that. He is always loving and forgiving us.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Day 9 Love makes good impressions....

Helloooooooo!!!!!! :0) reading the title...I'm sure you can imagine what today's Dare is going to be about. Today I must think of a specific way I'd like to greet him. I must do it with a smile and with enthusiasm. Then determine to change my greeting to reflect my love for him.

It takes me back and makes me remember how when we were fresh into our relationship and how wonderful it was to see each other after being separated for however long during the day. There was always that sense of peace and calmness. Such love poured out from one another and let each other know how important we were to each other. How just coming home and being together made everything alright. Then as time went on, that sense faded. I don't know why it faded....but now I know that it was wrong to let it fade. We let everyday life get in between what was most important to us. I let the actions of what I felt thru the day rub off on my greeting to him. He did the same as well. We are both guilty of this matter. I think we may not be the only couple in the sea that has done this.

I do know tho....that I am making that conscience effort to change that behavior in me....and not only with him...but also with my children, family, friends etc. If I can go to Jazzercise or the grocery store and be completely nice and loving towards complete strangers....why in the world cant I do it to those that matter the most to me. I guess it really does all fall back on to....Do unto others as you would want done unto yourself. I need to stop waiting to see the change and just get off my high horse and make the change myself. If those that encounter me see me with a smile, with a beautiful greeting it might just might make a slight improvement to their day. What better gift can I give to those by helping improve their day. And it don't cost no money. I know when I'm around those the lift me up unconditionally, it really helps me. Its my time to pay it all back.

Soooo.......Hey there!!!! How are YOU doing today? I really hope that you are having a wonderful day....because YOU deserve it!!!!! Huge Hugs!!!!

oh and ps......Since the boys go to their dads tonight again....he would like to have another talk. So continued prayers would be greatly appreciated. I did warn him that there would be no fighting or raising of my voice on my end because I am so over that. I dont know how many more heartbreaking conversations I can continue to have. But I guess if God takes me to it he will lead me thru it, right?! So here goes another day of no eating and stomache full of messed up nerves. What a great weightloss plan right?...Not!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Day 8 Love is Not Jealous

Today's lesson is learning about jealousy. How there is two different kinds of jealousy we deal with. There is the legitimate jealousy which is based on love. Then there is the illegitimate jealousy which is based on envy. Ive learned that I have been holding onto legitimate jealousy because I felt like he turned his heart away from me and was replacing it with something else. I just wanted back what was righteously mine. After having my revelation over the past weekend, I know now that true love is not selfish and puts others first, it refuses to let jealousy in.

I will start practicing being my husbands biggest cheerleader. Its time to let love, humility and gratefulness destroy any jealousy that springs up in my heart. Its time to let his successes draw us closer together and give me greater opportunities to show genuine love.

So today's Dare was to take yesterdays Negative attributes and discreetly burn them and then share with him how glad I am for a success that he has recently enjoyed. I will become his biggest fan and reject any thoughts of jealousy.

Day 7 Love believes the best

As the days are going on...I do find myself getting closer to God. And the wonderful thing about it is the sense of peace and calmness I'm feeling. Its as if I am hearing clearer. Tho I am still taking it day by day...I can not see what my future holds. But as for today...I'm ok. I still am praying and having faith that it will all turn out beautifully in my marriage. But I'm in a place that I'm ok with whatever Gods path is for me. I am trusting whole heartily in him and know that he will lead me in the direction I need to be.

Ive been surrounded with such great love and concern by so many wonderful people. I know that if I'm feeling the slight bit uneasy...I know I can turn to you all and know that you will help listen and direct me. I am making sure that I am constantly surrounded by positivity. Thru friends, thru motivational emails, thru church and thru motivational programs I can watch. It is all helping fight Satan off and keep him from attacking me.

Day 7's Dare was to take two pieces of paper and on one write all the positive things about my husband. On the other sheet write all the negative things about him. Take them and hide them for now. But then sometime through out the day pick one positive thing about him and point it out to him and thank him for having this characteristic.

I let him know that even tho he is going through lots of pain and frustrations right now in his life...that he still manages to show kindness. He has always had that great quality about him and I thanked him for still showing me kindness. Don't ask what he said back...cuz he didn't say anything at all...and that's good because I don't need to hear anything about me from that comment. That comment was unconditional to him. Sometimes we all need to be reminded of our good qualities.

Still no opening of doors on his end. He is being pleasant and cordial. No arguments or discussions have been had again. One day at a time....and many prayers!!!

Monday, January 10, 2011

The Weekend Recovery...Day 4,5,6

Taking it day by day is my goal right now. Made it thru the weekend and came out of it with a sense of more peace. On Saturday my Dare was to contact him sometime during the day and ask how he is doing and to see if there is anything I could do for him. I phoned him up while he was at work and we had a pleasant conversation. I really paid attention to what he was saying and acknowledged what he was feeling. I didn't go deep with him. But I did let him know that I was here for him.

On Sunday my Dare was to ask him what causes him to become uncomfortable or irritated with me. As to which I tried but never got a response from. I am not letting that discourage me and will forage on and still try and learn more about myself as the days continue on. The day before tho I had a heartfelt conversation with some friends about an ongoing issue that has probably consumed me over the last year. It has affected me on so many levels and now I know I am able to resolve it and let it go. I thought I was trying my best to do it before, but now I got the help I needed and a different perspective to really learn about the situation better. God is good and God has really helped me. I am learning so much about myself and how I think and how I react. Having a past full of hurt has really jaded my mind and outcome of how I interpret things. When I think I'm being I being nice for all the right reasons? I'm getting it now...slowly but surely.

Today's Dare I'm still trying to wrap my finger around. I got half of it pondering around but I'm confused on the other half. My Dare says...Choose today to react to touch circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.

I'm not the brightest crayon in the box but I need help understanding what it means to add margin to my schedule. I get the wrong motivations part. I am just confused that is all. I wont let this get to me tho...I will get thru this and learn more about myself.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Another down and on to Day 3

I am very Thankful for all the support and prayers that have been extended out to my marriage. It really means alot to me that we are so loved and cared for. I know God has his hand on us. I can feel it so deeply.

Last night God was definitely present in our conversation. We managed to have a very adult like and mature conversation. I really leaned hard into my Dare last night. I managed to try and not say anything negative when we were talking. I prayed for Patience and God gave it to me. I listened intently and tried to feel his emotions as he was describing them to me. He also had Patience as well when he listened to what I had to say. That was a great feeling to have, to be heard and listened to.

I can not say that it ended all in roses and balloons. He still wants it over...doesn't want it any more. He cant explain it, its just something that he is feeling deep with in. He says that hes not sure if its a mid life crisis or what. But right now he just wants to be single. He just wants it done and over. He will do everything in his power to help make sure that the boys and I are taken care of etc. He still loves me and the boys and feels real bad about this. He said its very hard on him to make this decision.

We ended the night at a complete stand still. Don't know what we will do. Don't know how we will go about handling things. But back in my mind, I know its one day at a time. That's all I can actually do at this moment. That's all the energy I have for anyways. So I guess time will tell.

Today's Dare was to once again not say anything negative and to buy a gift to show a token of appreciation. So bought him a bag of his utmost favorite candy that is very hard to find and left it in his truck for him to find in the morning. I never heard anything back about it....but I'm ok with that because this was an unconditional act of love.

I'm learning that I have done numerous acts of kindness or love always with strings attached. It really hasn't been the best feelings either. Because I am the one always putting myself up to always get taken down a few notches and discouraged. I was the one doing it to myself. Not anyone else. I try and try so hard....but I just didn't Be. Does that make sense? Well it will be a long road to recovery, but I am looking forward to just Being....being me! I'm gonna stop doing with strings attached and if I want to do something for someone...its just because and not to be expecting something in return.

So as I keep learning and leaning and believing....on to another day.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Day 1 gone Day 2 voyages on

The ending result of Day 1 was ok. He came home from work and was pleasant with all. He secluded himself to house paperwork for most of the night. He did eat dinner with the boys and I which is a positive for the day. Must remind myself to find the positive in all things, right? No major conversations were had, and he did leave for an hour to take something to a friend. I was fully aware of my mouth and my being and nothing negative came from me. So I think I passed Day 1's Dare.

Now on to Day 2......I am Dared to Not say anything negative once again today. But also show a simple act of kindness towards him. I started out the morning with a whooo hoo I can do this once again feeling. I packed him a lunch to take with him to work when he left. Really didn't expect anything from it because that was me showing an unconditional act of kindness. Low and behold he Thanked me later this morning. That was very nice to hear.

I am vowing thru with no negativity. Here's the hard part of the day....Since my boys go to their dads this evening, he is wanting to have and I quote " an unhappy chat tonight ". Oy vey....I can already feel Satan's presence looming in for the kill. I am going to keep my vow tho. He told me that this hurts him and also that he is keeping me from my happiness and its not fair to me. I see sincerity behind his icy exterior....I'm continuing on with my faith and believing that God will help guide us and protect us. For he has given us this gift of marriage and we haven't taken good care of this gift. But with Patience, Hope and Love I know he is willing to help restore our gift. I just have to believe. I know we hit rock bottom...but if we both still have love, there is still hope right?

So if anyone is reading this today....I'm asking for heartfelt prayers for this evenings talk. I need God here guiding us. Not Satan and his evil lies and grotesque behavior. I would greatly appreciate it.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Taking the Dare

What does one do when their marriage hits rock bottom? Life has been so difficult lately and it seems like Satan is attacking from every angle. I try and fight him off but he just keeps coming back for more. I know God is there with me....helping me along. But being an imperfect human sometimes I tend to try and fix things myself or just try and take over and not ask him for the help he is so willingly wanting to pass out. So for the last couple days Ive been talking with Him, asking for a sign. Asking what is going to happen? What should I do? Yesterday I felt like just giving in. Saying fine....if my husband thinks its best to call it quits then maybe that's what I should give him. I certainly don't want it, but that's not seeming to help matters at all. What do you do when it feels like, it appears in my eyes, that I am always trying.

Last night, I once again asked for a sign. This morning a thought came to me. It was doing the Love Dare. Oh Ive had this book sitting around for a couple years. Every once in awhile I would try to start it when things were kinda rocky before. But things worked its way out and I never made if far in the Dares. When I read the beginning of the book said that this is a marathon and not a sprint. AND you must complete the whole process!! I guess its like taking an antibiotic every day and finishing the prescription. One wont get over being sick if you don't finish the meds. Right?? Plus....what do I have to loose at this point? In his eyes its over. But he did tell me that he still loves is that a little seed of hope?? Maybe?! So what the heck I will give it a try.

Today (Day 1) starts with Patience. I am dared to not say anything mean to him. If I feel like I'm going that route then I need to shut up and walk away. So far so good...LOL... especially when he hasn't talked to me really yet today. Yesterday he stayed away allllll day until it was time for him to come home and go to bed. Wonder if that will be the case today? Time will only tell. So here is goes...a documentation on if this Love Dare will work for us. Wish I knew of someone that did this before and had amazing results...well besides the movie FireProof LOL. It would be encouraging if not the least.

Here is to Day 1!

oh and ps...the 40th day is the 13th of February....wonder what kinda Valentines day this year will be.