Saturday, March 5, 2011

While Im Waiting

Its heartbreaking to know that what I feel today is how the Lord felt when He was waiting for me.


As you lean into God sometimes it seems like the whole world is either passing you by or falling apart all around you. You are changing. You are being transformed. The other people around you don't look the same no more. Your priorities change. Your outlook changes. Life becomes more difficult. Its so hard to comprehend at times why God wants life to be like this. But its not God that is doing it. He wants you to be taken care of. He wants you to be blessed and cherished and nurtured. He only wants whats best for you. To be able to truly SEE what He has in store for sometimes have to go thru the difficult times to become a better person.

I know I am a good person. I know I am a good willed person. I am Gods daughter and he will never forsake me. I trust that He knows what He is doing for me on this journey. As frustrating and hurtful that it is at times. There is a reason for all of this. Satan is telling me that I can fix this. I KNOW that I cant fix it. I have to surrender it all over to the Lord and allow Him to show me what I need to see.

Why is it taking so long? What am I not seeing? Patience is a hard lesson to learn isn't it? Hitting the fast forward button would seem so easy. I know that I am different now. I know that I am someone I wasn't 3 months ago. With Gods love and my prayers to Him...He will provide what I need.

If you can pray for me to seek clarity and direction and continued transformation. For a peaceful heart and a calm mind. For His direction to be shown to me and answers to be answered. If you can pray for my husband and his health and well being. For his heart and mind to be made new by the power of our Father. For him to be open to change not only within himself, but in our marriage. If you can pray for my children that they receive and feel the unconditional love that they so willingly deserve to experience each and every day. For them to know what their Heavenly Father will do for them always. Pray that if He wants me to get a job...that one will open up for me. If He wants me to have a different residency..that one will be shown to me. I am at a loss right now. Don't know which direction my life is headed. I'm having faith and trust as hard as it is.

I really just wanna smile and laugh again.