Day 8 Love is Not Jealous

Today's lesson is learning about jealousy. How there is two different kinds of jealousy we deal with. There is the legitimate jealousy which is based on love. Then there is the illegitimate jealousy which is based on envy. Ive learned that I have been holding onto legitimate jealousy because I felt like he turned his heart away from me and was replacing it with something else. I just wanted back what was righteously mine. After having my revelation over the past weekend, I know now that true love is not selfish and puts others first, it refuses to let jealousy in.

I will start practicing being my husbands biggest cheerleader. Its time to let love, humility and gratefulness destroy any jealousy that springs up in my heart. Its time to let his successes draw us closer together and give me greater opportunities to show genuine love.

So today's Dare was to take yesterdays Negative attributes and discreetly burn them and then share with him how glad I am for a success that he has recently enjoyed. I will become his biggest fan and reject any thoughts of jealousy.

Day 7 Love believes the best

As the days are going on...I do find myself getting closer to God. And the wonderful thing about it is the sense of peace and calmness I'm feeling. Its as if I am hearing clearer. Tho I am still taking it day by day...I can not see what my future holds. But as for today...I'm ok. I still am praying and having faith that it will all turn out beautifully in my marriage. But I'm in a place that I'm ok with whatever Gods path is for me. I am trusting whole heartily in him and know that he will lead me in the direction I need to be.

Ive been surrounded with such great love and concern by so many wonderful people. I know that if I'm feeling the slight bit uneasy...I know I can turn to you all and know that you will help listen and direct me. I am making sure that I am constantly surrounded by positivity. Thru friends, thru motivational emails, thru church and thru motivational programs I can watch. It is all helping fight Satan off and keep him from attacking me.

Day 7's Dare was to take two pieces of paper and on one write all the positive things about my husband. On the other sheet write all the negative things about him. Take them and hide them for now. But then sometime through out the day pick one positive thing about him and point it out to him and thank him for having this characteristic.

I let him know that even tho he is going through lots of pain and frustrations right now in his life...that he still manages to show kindness. He has always had that great quality about him and I thanked him for still showing me kindness. Don't ask what he said back...cuz he didn't say anything at all...and that's good because I don't need to hear anything about me from that comment. That comment was unconditional to him. Sometimes we all need to be reminded of our good qualities.

Still no opening of doors on his end. He is being pleasant and cordial. No arguments or discussions have been had again. One day at a time....and many prayers!!!

The Weekend Recovery...Day 4,5,6

Taking it day by day is my goal right now. Made it thru the weekend and came out of it with a sense of more peace. On Saturday my Dare was to contact him sometime during the day and ask how he is doing and to see if there is anything I could do for him. I phoned him up while he was at work and we had a pleasant conversation. I really paid attention to what he was saying and acknowledged what he was feeling. I didn't go deep with him. But I did let him know that I was here for him.



On Sunday my Dare was to ask him what causes him to become uncomfortable or irritated with me. As to which I tried but never got a response from. I am not letting that discourage me and will forage on and still try and learn more about myself as the days continue on. The day before tho I had a heartfelt conversation with some friends about an ongoing issue that has probably consumed me over the last year. It has affected me on so many levels and now I know I am able to resolve it and let it go. I thought I was trying my best to do it before, but now I got the help I needed and a different perspective to really learn about the situation better. God is good and God has really helped me. I am learning so much about myself and how I think and how I react. Having a past full of hurt has really jaded my mind and outcome of how I interpret things. When I think I'm being nice....am I being nice for all the right reasons? I'm getting it now...slowly but surely.



Today's Dare I'm still trying to wrap my finger around. I got half of it pondering around but I'm confused on the other half. My Dare says...Choose today to react to touch circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.

I'm not the brightest crayon in the box but I need help understanding what it means to add margin to my schedule. I get the wrong motivations part. I am just confused that is all. I wont let this get to me tho...I will get thru this and learn more about myself.