Day 26-28

On to Day 26: Love is Responsible

I am learning about taking personal responsibility. Lots of times we are really quick to see and point out other peoples flaws and mistakes. We are sometimes are so quick to find fault especially with our spouses. Heck they are the easiest to blame because we think they should be one way or doing something that we think they should be doing. I'm guilty for this.....thinking that my views and ways are better or more correct than my husbands. And especially going through these tough times....I probably started off with its all about him...all about what he did wrong. Now I'm thinking more like...what did I do, what was my share of the downfall in this marriage. I know its not alllllll my fault. I'm learning that I need to take personal responsibility for my actions and behaviors. Love doesn't make excuses. Love keeps working to make a difference....in me and in my marriage.
This doesn't mean I am a doormat and I should surrender all to him...and make it his way or no way. Ive learnt that if there is something that's not right between me and God or me and my husband, then that should be first priority. I am learning to swallow my pride, admit my mistakes and seek for forgiveness.


Day 27: Love Encourages
Today's Dare was to eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in my home. Think of an area where my husband has told me that I'm expecting too much and tell him I'm sorry. Assure him of my unconditional love.

I know that this kinda ties in with the personal responsibility as well. Sometimes we expect soo much from someone that they can not fill or meet those expectations. Sometimes we wanna make a big deal out of it and pick a huge fight over it. When in actuality we are all human. We know men and women are created differently. We all think differently. So instead of trying for find fault all the time...take on compassion and sincerity and even tho they didn't do it right, encourage them for at least trying. By encouraging them for the things they are doing, will only help our relationships grow and become better. It allows others to feel safe with us. I love this line in the book......."You must realize that marriage is a relationship to be enjoyed and savored along the way. Its a unique friendship designed by God Himself where two people live together in flawed imperfections but deal with it by encouraging each other, not discouraging them."

Great lesson to take in and absorb.

Day 28: Love makes Sacrifices
Ill make this lesson short and sweet. This is about what can we do to help our spouse. Its taking an interest in their wants and needs and acting on them without being asked. Its making them a priority in our lives. We would want the same in return right? Someones gotta make the first move.

Another line I liked from the book said " Even when your mates stress comes out in words of personal accusation, love shows compassion rather than becoming defensive. Love inspires you to say "no" to what you want, in order to say "yes" to what your spouse needs." That's the key...what they Need. To truly love we must make sacrifices to make sure our spouses needs are given with our very best effort.

I am trying my best to put all these lessons in to effect in my daily life. To really learn what Love is all about. I can feel myself changing inside and learning to be a better me. Believe me I still have my set backs from time to time....but with prayer and Gods hand on my shoulder I make it thru. Positive thinking and a changed attitude helps alot. As for anything on his behalf......I don't know. He hasn't talked any more about a divorce. He hasn't talked anymore about what is the next step to ending it. He has been nicer. He has actually called me Hon....and has smiled at me. He has been saying Thank you for alot more things that I have done. I could tell you the discouraging things that he has done...but then I wouldn't be putting my lessons into practice. LOL ;) But with prayer it helps me get thru those discouraging times. I am learning that God is not doing this to me...He is doing this for me. So when I get discouraged or down....I try to remember that there is a good reason that this situation is going on. Now that fix it part of me really wants to come out....but that was the other Stefani. This Stefani knows that I cant fix this. I can fix myself. I can lean on my Heavenly Father and he will provide an amazing life for me. For in the end....we can only be held accountable for ourselves in front of God. So whatever discouraging things my husband may do....I turn it over to God and tell Him....Ok, do you see this....now you can take care of it!!! LOL